Dead Old Men

Christ did not die simply that you might be saved from a bad conscience, or even to remove the stain of past failure, but to “clear the decks” for divine action.

Major W. Ian Thomas

A close encounter of a supernatural kind

Beholding the spiritual realm with freshly opened eyes, left me ravenous to know God. I was desperate to learn of the One who infused me with His Spirit, quickening me to new life in Christ.

Fully aware of my ignorance, I cried out to God, imploring Him to send me a woman. Someone to help me understand the incredible things I was experiencing. It seemed fitting to ask God for a fellow pilgrim, further along in the journey, who could assist me in my newborn faith.

That simple prayer request had me living on high alert, constantly watching to see who He would send.

Over the course of five long years, different women would appear.

I watched as women came. And went.

Unwilling to orchestrate anything, (definitely new behavior), and confident God would reveal who He would bring, I kept waiting. Not once was there a connection, clear guidance, or confirmation that any of these ladies were my answered prayer.

While I waited for her appearance, I did what I could. Delving into the Bible, attending church, gathering with other sisters, listening to sermons and discovering a host of individuals on the radio who spoke of my Savior stoked my inflamed soul.

God’s ways are higher

I cannot recall the first time it happened, only that it did.

While holding out hope that God would send a flesh-and-blood follower for me to learn from, I was led to books instead.

Regularly. Consistently.

Instead of sending me a woman, God was sending me dead old men. 

Yes, saints who had lived in the holy of holies, knew God, and wrote as their souls blazed with passion for the Almighty. They didn’t just love God, they were in love with God. Two very different things.

Reading their works, hearing their testimonies and insights, confirmed the very things God was doing in my flabbergasted heart. 

I was stunned. 

Elated, but shocked. 

My sizzling soul devoured these scorching accounts until the wildfires of wonder and amazement raged out of control and I had to take a break. But only for a moment. This journey was too rich and the encounter too holy to dawdle when exquisite treasures, glowing with glory, were free for the taking.

The intimacy with which He was meeting and ministering to my needs left me dazzled and only wanting more.

Blazing souls

While waiting for my answered prayer the Lord led me to amazing books. I consumed volumes of spiritually rich fare, devouring insights, and information, frequently asking God if I was still on track. The Spirit confirming in my spirit that I was exactly where He wanted me to be.  

I was hanging out with dead old men and having the time of my life!

God chose to bring individuals like A.W. Tozer, Charles Spurgeon, Oswald Chambers, St. Augustine, Andrew Murray, E.M. Bounds and many others who became intimate friends. In them, I found a comradeship unlike any I have ever experienced.

I was being homeschooled by God and discipled by His saints. Life was incredible.

Some of my nearest and dearest friends

Below is a short list of some of my nearest and dearest dead old men friends. While I call them dead I am fully aware that they are actually more alive than ever.

There is not a single Christian who, under God, will not be fostered and brought to perfection by holy knowledge. It is then very important that we should grow not only in grace, but in knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Charles H. Spurgeon

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