There Is A Plan

HOPE

My soul was shriveled. It had been a long, hard, 4-year cancer journey with my husband. 

While God had proven exceedingly faithful and I was surrounded by friends who shared my burdens, the desire to process life with a therapist surfaced again. I had reached out to a counselor I respected months before, but his waiting list was over the one-year mark at that point. Watching our cancer journey unfold, I knew I could no longer wait to sit with someone to process my heart.

I prayed, then checked out several websites for counseling agencies I trusted.

Perhaps it was the longer-than-a-year wait for my first choice, coupled with a pressing compulsion to speak with someone soon, that drove me to select a counselor who was available the following week. She declared her faith in the sufficiency of God’s grace and His truth for all of life’s challenges. Sounds good to me!

I scheduled an appointment online and filled out the necessary intake forms.

The one hundred and twenty dollar fee was no small thing. Cancer is expensive.

HOPEFUL

I set out for the near hour drive to the counselor’s office, eager to sit with a sister in Christ. The thought of receiving some light for the dim, confusing places I found myself in, squelched any fear, anxiety, or stress of venturing forth into this unknown territory.

A fresh set of eyes and insightful perspective might bring the clarity I craved. 

Wisdom might see whatever I felt I was missing, then speak into that void ushering in understanding with its accompanying comfort. 

The possibilities were vast.

If I needed to be rebuked, corrected, or instructed I was all in. All I knew was time was running out, and there were things that needed to be addressed.

I arrived a few minutes early, prayed again, then proceeded to find the counseling office inside the high-rise building.

After checking in with the receptionist, I waited until the counselor came and escorted me to her room.

HOPE DEFERRED

I am practical—rather no-nonsense, a cut-to-the-chase sort of person so when she began by asking me if I had read her bio I was a bit surprised. Before I could answer, she said, “Let me tell you how I got here.” She launched out, my mind thinking about the time this was taking and the minutes ticking away at my expense. 

Miraculously, I was at peace and simply observed all that was going on. My heart was quiet.

She wrapped things up by telling me her age, “… so you won’t have to worry about figuring that out.”

Actually, I never thought of her age. 

She added, “Isn’t it nice to speak with someone older?”

I truly don’t care if someone is twenty years old if they are filled with the Spirit and can help guide me into Truth, point out erroneous thought patterns, or offer points for reflection or consideration. 

Interesting, but I remained hopeful. Patient. 

As the session continued she shared about her marriage and how she handled her husband’s midlife crisis. At the end of her story she declared with a victorious tone, “It worked!” 

I confess I was having a moment here. Sharing about how she solved the problem, with her money, to purchase the “scratch” for the “itch” her husband seemed to have, left me cautious.  

HOPEFULLY

As things progressed I began to realize she wasn’t hearing me. 

I also recognized that God was in this. All of it. As I continued to take in all that was happening during our session, God was teaching me.

By contrast, this counseling session was teaching me to listen well. To ask questions of others to make sure I understand where someone is coming from and what they mean before weighing in with a response. To love others by truly hearing them, not simply throwing out Bible passages or setting scriptures up as hoops to jump through. I needed to listen well and ask questions to hear a person’s heart. I also recognized how I must always depend on the Spirit to guide all my interactions.

Near the end, I was given a journaling handout and told I could work through it with a friend or come back and go over it with her.

I gave her one hundred and twenty dollars in cash and she handed me a receipt. 

I was a bit dismayed.

GOD OF HOPE

With the hope of cheese enchiladas at a favorite Mexican restaurant and an unused ten-dollar gift card, I pulled onto the highway.

I was munching on chips and salsa, replaying much of what had transpired when, “I have more understanding than my teachers,” surfaced in my mind.

Grabbing my phone and typing in those words brought up Psalm 119:99, “I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation.”

Instantly all of my questions evaporated. The mysterious distilled and brilliant clarity illumined my mind.

I understood that the unrelenting and intensifying burden to seek out counsel was needed. God wanted me to make a move, to seek out counsel, that was part of the plan. Every step of the process was under His watchful eye and nothing was going to be wasted. Best of all, He made me aware that He is my Wonderful Counselor. Here and now, in daily life, at all times, He wanted me to learn what it is to know and experience Him as my counselor. 

Glory!

OVERFLOWING HOPE

Initially, I placed my hope in a specific counselor, but the lengthy wait nixed that idea. Then I placed my hope in finding a counselor who could help me understand what no one but God understood. At the root of it all I was hoping for answers, and possibly comfort, but my hope was misdirected. 

Like a stubborn splinter, the nagging desire to resolve the unresolvable (in a human sense) caused me distress. 

One of my favorite verses offered a sheltering refuge, but I never thought of retreating to it during this specific trial.

Romans 15:13 is one of those exceedingly shady places where grace flows in abundance.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

New International Version

The God of hope! How’s that for an answer?

Not a specific hope for anything or a certain outcome, desire, longing, but rather God as my hope. Now that changes everything. 

DRENCHED

When the realization of God being my Counselor dawned on me the flood gates opened. Joy and peace gushed in, leaving me giddy. I had been trusting God, but God wanted me to know Him in a way I had never known Him before. He was about to show me exceedingly great and wonderful things I never imagined by coming to Him as my Wonderful Counselor. 

In a few short months, my husband would no longer be here. Developing a deep moment-by-moment relationship with Him as my Wonderful Counselor was critical. Coming to Him as my Source for direction and guidance would flow naturally into realizing Him as my Husband.

How loving of God to use my angst and concern to move me to seek counsel. Through it all, He wooed me into more intimate communion with Him. I would need God more than I ever had, and He was lovingly preparing me to walk closer with Him.

Is there something you are hoping for that the grace of Romans 15:13, and knowing God as your God of hope, might become a shady refuge?

By the power of His Spirit, He has promised to fill us to overflowing with hope, along with joy and peace as we trust in Him. Drenched in overflowing hope—may it be, Lord, may it be.

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[Professional counseling is a wonderful and needful service as we walk through this broken realm. I fully support the counseling process and urge anyone in need to reach out to connect with a counselor. If you are struggling, need clarification, wish to process current issues or desire a more disciplined and confidential relationship outside of friendship a counselor may be helpful. Good counsel can be like Jesus with skin on.]

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